Feeld Desires vs. Interests: What's the Difference?
Learn the difference between Feeld Desires and Interests. How to choose each strategically for better matches and clearer communication.
When you set up your Feeld profile, you'll encounter two separate sections: Desires and Interests. At first glance, they might seem similar—both are tags you select to tell potential matches something about yourself. But they serve fundamentally different purposes, and understanding the distinction can significantly improve your matching experience.
This guide breaks down exactly what Desires and Interests mean on Feeld, how to choose them strategically, and how to use both sections to attract the connections you're actually looking for.
The Basic Distinction
Let's start with the fundamental difference:
Desires = What you're looking for in intimate/romantic connections Interests = What you enjoy doing in your daily life (hobbies, passions)
Think of it this way: Desires answer "What are you seeking from connections on this app?" while Interests answer "Who are you as a person outside the bedroom?"
Both matter for compatibility, but they serve different filtering and matching functions.
Understanding Desires
Desires on Feeld are the intimate, romantic, and sexual aspects of what you're seeking. They're the heart of why you're on Feeld rather than a mainstream dating app.
What Desires Include
Feeld's Desire tags typically cover:
Relationship Structures:
- Monogamy
- Non-monogamy
- Polyamory
- Open relationship
- Relationship anarchy
Connection Types:
- Casual
- Friends with benefits
- Something ongoing
- Serious relationship
- Life partner
Experience-Based:
- Threesomes
- Group experiences
- Couples dating
- Being a third
Orientation/Identity:
- Heteroflexible
- Homoflexible
- Pansexual
- Demisexual
- Sapiosexual
Kink Categories:
- BDSM
- Power dynamics
- Exhibitionism
- Voyeurism
- Specific practices
How Desires Affect Matching
Feeld uses Desires to influence who you see and who sees you. When your Desires align with another user's, you're more likely to appear in each other's feeds. Mismatched Desires can mean missed connections—or connections that don't go anywhere.
Example: If you select "Casual" as a Desire and someone else selects "Life partner," Feeld may deprioritize showing you to each other, recognizing the potential incompatibility.
Strategic Desire Selection
Be Honest, Not Aspirational
Select Desires that reflect what you're actually looking for right now—not what you think might be interesting someday or what sounds good on paper.
If you're new to kink, selecting every BDSM-related Desire will attract experienced people looking for experienced partners. You'll waste their time and feel in over your head.
Cast the Right Net
Too few Desires means fewer potential matches. Too many Desires means matches that aren't aligned. Find the balance:
- Select your primary Desires (the non-negotiables)
- Add secondary Desires (things you're genuinely open to)
- Skip anything that's "maybe someday"
Understand the Signals
Some Desires send specific signals:
- "Casual" = not looking for emotional commitment
- "Something ongoing" = more than one-night stands
- "Life partner" = serious, committed intentions
Choose based on what you want people to understand about your intentions.
Understanding Interests
Interests on Feeld are your hobbies, passions, and personality markers—the things that make up your life outside of romantic/sexual connection.
What Interests Include
Feeld's Interest tags typically cover:
Activities:
- Hiking
- Yoga
- Cycling
- Dancing
- Gaming
Cultural:
- Live music
- Art
- Theater
- Film
- Reading
Lifestyle:
- Travel
- Cooking
- Wine/cocktails
- Cannabis
- Fitness
Intellectual:
- Philosophy
- Science
- Psychology
- Spirituality
- Politics
Social:
- Parties
- Festivals
- Board games
- Dinner parties
Why Interests Matter
Interests serve several functions:
Conversation Starters When someone messages you, shared Interests give them something to talk about. "I see you're into ceramics—I just started throwing last year" is a lot better than "hey."
Compatibility Indicators Beyond intimate compatibility, you probably want to actually enjoy spending time with people you connect with. Shared Interests suggest compatible lifestyles.
Personality Windows Your Interests tell a story about who you are. Someone who lists "hiking, meditation, gardening" paints a different picture than someone who lists "clubbing, cocktails, fashion."
Filtering Beyond the Bedroom Two people might have perfectly aligned Desires but nothing to talk about. Interests help you find people you'll enjoy even when you're not being intimate.
Strategic Interest Selection
Be Specific
"Music" tells people almost nothing. "Jazz vinyl collecting" tells them something specific they can connect with.
If Feeld only offers broad categories, use your bio to add specificity.
Reflect Your Reality
Don't select Interests you wish you had. If you haven't been hiking in three years, don't list hiking. You'll end up on dates where you're exposed.
Show Range
A mix of Interests paints a fuller picture:
- Something active (cycling)
- Something creative (photography)
- Something social (dinner parties)
- Something contemplative (reading)
This shows you're a dimensional person with a real life.
Consider What Matters for Compatibility
Some Interests are more compatibility-relevant than others:
- Cannabis use might matter for lifestyle alignment
- Festival culture signals specific social preferences
- Fitness levels might affect shared activities
Think about which Interests actually matter for the connections you're seeking.
Desires vs. Interests: A Direct Comparison
| Aspect | Desires | Interests | |--------|---------|-----------| | Purpose | What you want from connections | Who you are as a person | | Focus | Intimate/romantic/sexual | Hobbies/lifestyle/personality | | Matching | Affects algorithm priority | Provides conversation hooks | | Filtering | Core compatibility | Lifestyle compatibility | | Privacy level | More intimate/personal | More shareable/casual |
How They Work Together
The most effective Feeld profiles use Desires and Interests in harmony. Here's how:
Desires Set Expectations
Your Desires tell someone: "This is the kind of connection I'm looking for. Are we aligned?"
If they're not aligned on Desires, matching Interests won't save the connection. You might have great conversations about shared hobbies, but if one person wants casual and the other wants commitment, it's not going anywhere.
Interests Build Connection
Once Desires establish basic compatibility, Interests determine whether you'll actually enjoy each other's company.
You might find someone whose Desires perfectly match yours, but if you have zero Interests in common, dates might feel flat. You're compatible on paper but not in practice.
The Ideal Match
The best Feeld connections often have:
- Aligned core Desires (you want similar things)
- Some overlapping Interests (you have things to do and talk about)
- Some different Interests (you can introduce each other to new things)
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Mistake 1: Treating Them as Interchangeable
Some people fill out one section thoroughly and ignore the other. This creates an incomplete picture and limits your matching potential.
Fix: Give equal attention to both sections.
Mistake 2: Selecting Everything
If you select every Desire and Interest available, you're essentially selecting nothing. You're not helping anyone understand who you are or what you want.
Fix: Be selective. Choose tags that are genuinely true and important.
Mistake 3: Conflicting Signals
Sometimes people's Desires don't match their bio, or their Interests seem inconsistent with their photos. This creates confusion.
Example: Selecting "Casual only" as a Desire but writing in your bio about wanting a deep, meaningful connection.
Fix: Ensure Desires, Interests, bio, and photos tell a consistent story.
Mistake 4: Never Updating
Your Desires and Interests can change over time. What you wanted when you joined Feeld might not be what you want now.
Fix: Review and update periodically, especially after significant life changes or shifts in what you're seeking.
Mistake 5: Using Desires as a Wishlist
Some people use Desires to list everything they might ever be interested in, rather than what they're actively seeking.
Fix: Focus on current, active Desires. You can always add more as you explore.
Specific Scenarios
For Singles Seeking Singles
Desires to consider:
- Relationship type (casual, ongoing, serious)
- Orientation/attraction
- Any specific experiences you're seeking
Interests focus:
- Activities you'd enjoy doing together
- Lifestyle indicators (social/homebody, active/relaxed)
- Conversation and connection points
For Couples Dating Together
Desires to consider:
- What you're both open to
- Type of connection (one-time, ongoing, potentially romantic)
- Specific dynamics you're interested in
Interests focus:
- What you enjoy doing as a couple
- What a third might join you for
- Shared versus individual interests
For People in Open Relationships (Dating Separately)
Desires to consider:
- Your individual desires (separate from your partner's)
- Relationship style (ENM, poly, etc.)
- What you're personally looking for
Interests focus:
- Your individual hobbies and passions
- What you'd want to share with new connections
- Who you are apart from your primary relationship
For Kink-Focused Users
Desires to consider:
- Specific kinks and practices
- Role (dominant, submissive, switch)
- Experience level
Interests focus:
- Kink community involvement
- Related lifestyle elements
- Non-kink personality and hobbies
How to Review Your Current Selections
If you've already filled out your profile, here's how to audit it:
Step 1: Review Your Desires
- Are they accurate to what you want right now?
- Are any outdated or aspirational rather than real?
- Are you missing any core Desires?
- Do they tell a clear story about what you're seeking?
Step 2: Review Your Interests
- Do they reflect your actual life?
- Would you be comfortable talking about all of them?
- Do they give someone conversation starters?
- Do they paint a picture of who you are?
Step 3: Check for Consistency
- Do your Desires and Interests align with your bio?
- Do your photos support the story your tags tell?
- Would someone get a clear picture of who you are?
Step 4: Get Feedback
If you have friends who use Feeld or understand the platform, ask them to review your profile. Sometimes others spot inconsistencies we miss.
Advanced Strategy: Using Tags for Filtering
Beyond what tags mean to others, they also affect who Feeld shows you. Here's how to use that strategically:
Narrow When You're Overwhelmed
If you're getting too many connections that don't align, make your Desires more specific. Fewer tags means more targeted matching.
Broaden When You're Curious
If you're open to exploring, add Desires you're genuinely curious about. You might discover connections you wouldn't have found otherwise.
Use Interests for Search
Some users search by specific Interests. Having detailed Interests makes you findable to people specifically looking for partners with shared hobbies.
The Bigger Picture
Desires and Interests aren't just about gaming the algorithm or attracting more matches. They're about clarity and communication.
The clearer you are about what you want (Desires) and who you are (Interests), the more likely you are to find connections that actually work. Vagueness might seem like it keeps options open, but it usually just creates mismatched expectations.
Be honest, be specific, and trust that the right people will be attracted to the real you—Desires, Interests, and all.
Need Help Putting It All Together?
Your Desires and Interests are just part of the picture. Poise helps you craft the rest—from bios that bring your tags to life to openers that reference shared Interests naturally.